all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
