i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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