worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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