I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize