ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
