just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
