Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize