i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
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just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
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COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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