He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
