Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
