New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
