why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
