He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
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she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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