So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
