i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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