i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
