bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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