I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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