Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
