tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
