So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize