Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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