You're so nebulous sometimes
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
