I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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