i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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