Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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