I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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