you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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