do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
