before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Randomize
