so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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