Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
