lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
