Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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