Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
