she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
