I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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