my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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