Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
