is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
