Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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