Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
