Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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