These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
