that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
