i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
