Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
