I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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