I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
