i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
