I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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