Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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