Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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