I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
