I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
